Its amazing how life can change in a flash. Life and death, rich or poor dreams or nightmares. I always believed in what I set out to do from the start, there was no turning back as I put my first foot forward. Things started to change around me as my approach to reality was no more a dream or I should call it The Blueprint Travel Show. Its hard to sum up the cliché of a saying its been a roller coaster of a ride. I didn’t see it like that, because it wasn’t. What I have learnt from the very beginning is that my journey of the show will always have an outcome influenced by the people whom I choose to be a part of it. There was no selection process or thumb sucking, it just happed and the people who are my producers for the show have reached out and believed in me. There was never any doubt in my mind that we weren’t going to take the show and make it reach past its full potential, since it is more than just a TV show, and they saw that.

So you probably wanting to know when is it going to be aired as this has been dragging on for a while now. My answer to that is we are going big and by saying that, you will see what we mean soon enough. Your life can change in a flash and the past few weeks from my gran passing away to my show hitting the US market. It makes you think, everything balances out and Life carries on. My radio Show starts next week and the process of doing it has been a huge learning curve because radio and TV are completely the opposite when it comes to speaking, since I don’t have a visual, so speaking has become more detailed in when I approach things to say on the radio. But in saying that, I guess I appreciate things more, since Im looking at things in detail in a different way.

So im writing this as I take a break from emails and research. Next thing I have to do is start sorting out my visa for the States due to my life changing in a flash as it does. When I first came up with my concept for the show, at the time it was just an idea that I wrote down in my black note book as I was on a bus ride that took 12 hours of what I guess created the pebble that started the ripple effect that I call my chapter named By Chance. As the world spins round and round and one grows older, so does the ripple effect of just an Idea that has now reached the shores of The United States of America as reality has struck once again of the outcome of this part of my life. (Who would of thought)

From all the sacrifices and opportunities I turned down, money, stability or even simplicity as what the human race made up as true happiness. My question is why settle for other peoples made up world of what is considered normal as if everyone believes it should be, yet everyone tries to be different when they not. I guess Im saying that I am my own puppeteer and I guide my own strings of what I choose to do and will not be dictated or bullied to think anything less of what I set out to do. I have to rename this part of my life’s chapter, No more shall it be By Chance, I shall Name it Just Do it and I will leave it at that. My Producers  Rick, Jonathan, Damien, Mo, Graeme and My D.O.P Helmut. I say a humble thank you. Now back to sorting out my visa!!! 

Stephen Im dying…. But I love you very much! Hearing a broken sentence as those words were said, it filtered through my mind at the surreal thought of the truth of what she just said. She died on my birthday and those were the last words I heard her speak. Who wants to live forever as the sadness of leaving your memories behind and not knowing what your next chapter shall be after you have that last breath. It’s a crazy thought to think your first and last breath will always be the beginning and end of life. I would never be able to tell you what is going on through one’s head while they laying there as every beat of their heart, beats a slower beat. The thought that you are going to die must be either terrifying or humbling, knowing that you lived a good life, but maybe it’s the mix of both. I would like to think that you think of your happiest point in your life, whatever that might be.

My gran Hanna Friedman has lived a life that was built around… How can I put it LIFE! At the young age of 94 you can only imagine the things she has seen and done. Not many people can say that they have even come close to see the world change as much as my gran. Coming from Latvia to South Africa as World War 2 made many people from her generation run for the lives and find new starts in the world that we live in. She ended up on the furthest tip of Africa, not knowing much about it, it was far enough from the war saving her life and starting a chapter that would be called... Home take 2.

 She has always been a proud woman, always dressed in her finest and looked as she was going to visit the queen at any point during the day, the term Lady comes to mind to describe my gran as if she went to the finest finishing school for young woman. As she said a lady who doesn’t wear lipstick looks like death warmed up. A family that eats together stays together, as she felt that sitting down for breakfast, lunch and dinner was the reason why she was happily married. She travelled the world and gathered many amazing stories that she use to always tell us how things use to be better back then, since simple is the cure to many thing we do. Her stories set off our imagination of what I can say made us want to live even half the amazing life that she lived and we will always have those stories of her adventures and compare them one day to or adventures we set out to do. But all of the above really stands for one thing that kept her going, apart from her humour, pride and being the woman that she is. She was driven by one thing and that will always be family.

Finding myself writing about her I find that its really hard to describe a lady that has made me realize that whatever you do in your life make a family and be proud of it no matter what, the bigger the family the better. The saying goes you can never choose your family, but if I could choose a grandparent she will always be picked no matter what. She had a good soul and a good heart. Thinking back of the times she made me laugh and the times she took my mind on adventures with her amazing stories. She will always be someone I will never forget and having the blood line of a proud Latvian woman running through my veins will always make me think back of what I can only describe as a saint of her generation and her soul will always live on through the family she created.

I said earlier when you lying on your back as your heart beat weakens you think back to your happy place… If I know my gran and could maybe describe a point in time when she could be the happiest. It would be a fine summer’s day, as she sits in her red chair next to her husband in the lounge while he reads the newspaper; She lets her legs face the warm rays of the sun as they beam through the open sliding door. As a cool breeze fills the room as it releases the smells from the biscuits and cakes baking in the oven in the kitchen she is so proud of. Her 2 sons are playing out in front with the dog. She takes a minute and smells the air and looks around and realises that her family is and will always be her happy place.

Thank you for always being there for me and for believing in me. So its not good bye its till we meet again. Enjoy your next chapter and adventure. Love you gran.         

So another year has ended and 2012 has now begun. Don’t you find that when you are a kid the days always seemed longer? Im almost 26 and to be honest its freaking me out because my days are seeming so much shorter, and I don’t know why. I have a big year ahead of me with my show coming to TV and my radio show also starting this year, not to mention a dozen more things that Im working on, and Im sure my manager will be keeping me busy and out of trouble. So yes I can say my life is in a good place and I have amazing things to look forward to. Yet this festive season that we just had. I have never felt so alone in all my life.

Every year is the same for me during this time. I’ve always been alone so Im pretty use to it. But this year I don’t know what made me feel so down. I do believe happiness happens when its shared and I would of loved to of spent it with my nephews and niece, but that didn’t happen, but that wasn’t the thing that was getting me down because I know I’ll be seeing them soon enough. So what was getting me down? Knowing that 2012 is going to be a year of what I’ve been working so hard towards to achieve my goals I have set out to do. But what is it all for I keep asking myself?

Thinking back to the year that has just past, I cant help but think that it was a year of observing and planning out what my next few chapters could be for the years to come. But I cant help and take notice that, I have been finding it hard to find a common ground with people. I’ve been getting lost in conversations and find myself day dreaming. I guess I have become a bit of a nomad but in saying that I have always been one. I love the fact that I cant be tied down and I am free to be me. Im anxious and nervous of 2012, my life is about to change once again, but this time its uncharted waters. I guess those days of day dreaming are no longer relevant since reality has struck. Finding my Neverland  was never there to be found because I have always been there and living in my world that I have painted for myself. Growing up was never the case for me because living my life in slow motion is what has built me up for this new chapter in my life. Let me call it 2012!  

So it’s a wrap for the year of filming…. It’s been an up and down hill battle this year, but we finally wrapped up last week Friday where I had to film my final Diary entries for the past few episodes we shot  in a green room studio in Johannesburg. All I can say is that I’m super happy with how things have turned out and thankful for having a great Team behind me.   The Blueprint Travel Show is going to be worth the wait, and we will also be going on radio as well come next year January, it’s a radio show that will be linked up with The Blueprint, which is something to listen out for. I’m also busy with an short film animation I’m producing and directing (I wish I could draw), something that’s close to the heart and something that will surprise most people, it’s already gotten a few people talking.

2012 is going to be a big year, so I say thank my family, friends, my manager Sian Bailey for looking after me and always having my best interests at heart. My modelling agencies for their hard work that they put into me. My Team for the show, you people rule and I thank the media for the opportunities you have created for me. But overall, thank you everyone for believing in me and the show and in everything else I do. I will keep on writing and keep you guys entertained, well I will try.

Go find you adventure  

All lined up with butterflies in your belly you looking down what looks to be a thin pink ribbon at the finish line. Your task is to move every single muscle in your body to generate enough energy to propel yourself forward fighting all the elements around you. By doing all this you should reach a speed that will create dust(well that's what you try think in your head). We have been doing this since the first man/woman (which ever came first, chicken or the egg) got to his feet and walked with 2 legs. Mr bolt is the quickest man in the world, true story. but what makes him so freaking fast? I'm sure many people will have an answer for this but i don't need an answer its more of a statement because running 100m faster than 10 seconds means you a freak.

I cant even remember the last time i pushed my body to run its fastest. But I can tell you something, there was this moment that I felt so alive and free and wanted to push myself even further and see how fast i could go. I started to get faster and faster the closer i was getting to that pink ribbon. I was telling myself I wish the ribbon was further away, I really want to see how fast I could go. But it was all over and I ended up a dirty 3rd place.If you know me i hate losing, I always get upset with myself when i know if i pushed harder I could achieve whatever I'm doing. But sometimes you only have 1 moment to prove to yourself and if you don't take that moment, what ever it might be, it will be all wasted and you will never know the true outcome. I guess that's what life is all about, go big or go home. Take every chance you can to see what you can achieve. I wasn't racing against anybody, well there were another 18 people in the race.I was selected as one of 19 people to run the celebrity 100m charity dash to raise money for Rainbow smiles. Its a charity for kids with cancer so I really wanted to win and raise as much money for these kids as possible. 

Ironically I was the favorite for the race as the book keepers were punting me to win. Its was race 13 for the Sansui summer cup, which is one of the oldest horse races in the South Africa. We ran our race at 15:25pm between race 4 and race 5.So a few of the other South Africans that are in the media were all lined up and ready to push themselves to reach speeds that they have never done before. So for coming dirty 3rd i felt really bad and I felt like I let these kids down, I know I could of pushed harder. So I chatted to the wonderful ladies that run Rainbow smiles and told them that I would love to take some of these kids surfing and try bring smiles to their faces because I know how much as riding 1 wave can change your outlook on the world we live in. If these kids dream about that 1 wave that they caught and it brings that smile to their face, then no money can buy a smile like that. So I'm looking forward to get these kids in the water, and looking forward to work with Rainbow smiles.

I also took my dad with me to the event, and it was really nice spending the day with him . It was good to see a smile on his face as I don't get to see it to often due to me always being away (Thank you old man for always being there for me for the past few years)My manager was so busy, but that's what her lifestyle is all about. But I thank her and credit her for doing an amazing job in her field of play. I'm always grateful when I get to do fun things in the media, and its because of her I get to do them. I'm busy writing this while on a flight, I live at airports and in planes I swear, and my legs are a little sore. I should of pushed harder!!!  

So I have been quiet the past few weeks. Guess I have had allot of things going on that are keeping me busy. My best friend and his wife are having a baby any day now (They actually had the baby the day I wrote this, a little girl named Sadie), I spoke to him last night and it’s so strange knowing that his life is about to change yet again. The first big change is when he got married, but it wasn’t strange since he has been with his better half for a decade, and she is like a sister to me and I will always be part of their family. He is a few years older than me, but when we are together we still act like we are 13 year old teenage boys that still haven’t hit puberty. I don’t think we will ever grow up as much as we do try. But with this new addition that’s joining their lives made me realize that growing up isn’t a choice in the matter, its guaranteed. It’s scary to think that one day you don’t have a care in the world the next day it’s all about to change.  I know that they will make amazing parents, and me being on the side lines and watching them learn about what responsibilities are really all about, because whatever you think you know, you know nothing until you have a child. I’m just speaking on behalf of what my sisters went through and I watched them become the mothers that they are.

Staring into the mirror I have noticed that I have a few lines on my face that never use to be there. I could blame the sun but we all know the reality in it is that getting older is the cause in this ripple effect. Allot of my friends are either settling down and getting married or now having their first child. I’m still only 25, but my friends that are slightly older than me are doing the above. I’m nowhere close to doing any of that, I still have so much more to do and achieve on my own. But saying all that, I think when the time comes you can never plan, it just happens. I guess that is the fear of it, getting older and growing up and letting nature takes it course. As much as you fight nature, you will never win against her. Nature will always win at the end of the day. So I say just go with it! So for now, I’m going to carry on doing what I’m doing, and when my time comes, I guess that’ll be the day where I can bring out my old toys from the cupboard and share them with who? Well I guess I’ll let nature decide that one for me.

 Wishing Kyle and Greer the best of luck for your mini version of themselves, may you both not get gray hairs just yet. May your mini you become the best he or she will be. But with you guys as parents there is one thing that she or he will grow up with, that is a loving home and amazing parents. Thank you for always being there for me. If you ever need a baby sitter, please feel free to call your siblings. Much love from me.    

  

The tides change once again, as life passes you by. A smoky room fills up your lungs as the drunks stare you down. Not knowing what’s going on around them,  they take another sip of what makes their perception  seem real yet the damage is done, there is no turning back as reality will strike comes morning.  A text message is read, I need to break free. Do it I say ,with no reply does it sink in, and will it reflect in a action instead. As the clock moves forward in time, a conversation is struck yet I remember no name, but what star sign is she will be the topic of discussion, as it boxes her in of what type of person she is.  Wearing expensive clothes as they walk past, they look worried while holding that burning cigarette between their fingers while the music fills the empty spaces around them. In my eyes I stare and watch as silence slows everything down. Insecurities and sadness strikes on faces around me, as their eyes wonder around looking for acceptance of what they think is the person that everyone once them to be. They stand there like a mirror reflection of the person standing next to them, as the confusion sets in, making them fall deeper in this bottomless pit that they have dug. Like a cameleon they turn around and mimic their surroundings not wanting to stand out but blend into this god forsaken color that is only black and white. Burning rubber as songs play out of the radio that whispers something that only can be heard if one searches. Its added color to this dark cold night, which I thank the driver.  As the beat still pulses through my veins, the rattle of my keys opens my front door. My mind drifts off and wonders of what you are doing on the opposite side of the moon that is yet to be seen by your eyes that seek nothing less of what beauty your life shall be. I close my eyes and drift off hoping that I wake up to nothing more than the sound of what you may call a summer breeze.

What am I looking for in my dream girl, She might even be reading this and maybe I made her smile. I find it so strange that when you grow up you go through stages in your life of what you looking for. The older you get  the  picture that you painted at a young age has developed from a science fiction woman  to something real.  I keep my private life very private, and have always felt that its nobody’s business but mine.  Everyone at the end of the day wants to be accepted and not be left alone.  But what is it that you are actually searching for?

I have friends from all ages and I laugh when I hear some of my younger buddies stories about why they are confused and what they are wanting, and they carry on about it. They come up with the funniest conclusions of why it won’t work out with the person that they are seeing. In between the lines they just want to sleep with their girl’s best friend or the girl next door. It’s a numbers game at that stage of their lives. Nothing is wrong with that, they are just seeing what they want. So are the girls that they are seeing, they are just as confused. Then I will see older men at clubs picking up girls 15 years younger than them, which is also such a strange concept to grasp, what do they actually have in common apart from sleeping with each other. But then turning the cards when an older woman is dating a man 10years younger than she, society tends to judge.  It feels like the whole world is confused, young and old. Yet when we watch movies and read romantic novels, it seems like we know what we want and how things should be, but that isn’t the case.

Last night I was out and I was surrounded by many attractive ladies but I wasn’t interested at all, and one stage I was alone  and had  8 ladies sitting at my table. If it was 3 years ago, I’d be like a bob cat on heat. How you doing!!! Been there done that and got the shirt. I have reached casual, I know what I want and I know what makes me happy. A scratch and tickle, shag, tap, dip, f#@k so on and so forth, whatever you want to call it, every living thing in this world does it. I have had a fair share of it and I’m not complaining, some were good and some were bad experiences but the main thing is I learnt how my body works and how a woman’s body works. Sex is sex at the end of the day, simple as, nothing will change with it, just the person you doing it with will while you searching for your better half.  Then its another story once you find that better half! 

I could describe my perfect dream girl, but describing her you might get the wrong picture at what she is all about.  She is a living breathing person, with an amazing smile, kind eyes and a good heart. Yet that could be anyone, but she is the girl next door, the day dreamer  the one that didn’t get away. She is there in your thoughts and dreams. Yet they’ll be moments when you stare at the stars at night, and she could be doing the very same thing only on a different continent. She’ll be there to catch you when you fall, through the good and the bad. The person who you grow old with and makes you live each day to the fullest. She is your best friend and your better half, she is your smile and your home. As you can see she is no more a science fiction women, she is a real soul. Her looks aren’t important in this painting, yet she’ll always be the prettiest woman in my eyes. This isn’t a sloppy love piece, this is about me starting a new chapter. It took 8 ladies at my table last night to make me realize that my painting in my head of the perfect woman is complete, I know what I’m looking for and she does too. Done are the days of confusion, I’ve grown up in that department, now I sit back and wait until we under the same nights sky and now that’s worth waiting for!

It’s not every day when you meet a group of people and realize that passion and dreams still are what drives people. I guess you can call it the X-factor of life. It’s a great to be around people like that, makes you humble and you can see their eyes light up when they speak about what they are doing. My last piece, I wrote about how much I don’t enjoying launch functions for new brands or products. I did say some are fun, and it was never about the brand, was just the same boring people with boring conversation, that was the main reason why I don’t like some functions. However, this was a different type of launch, the people that were there had something to do with this new brand, and with pride glowing on the faces of everyone; you just knew that this will be a great success.

I went to the launch of Makia jewelry. You properly thinking what do I know about jewelry. Well I grew up with 3 older sisters, so that can give me some knowledge don’t you think? Jewelry is meant to tell a story, be unique, and stand out. It’s easy to make something sparkle and add gems and stones, but when it’s done right and with a story behind it that’s what makes a piece stand out from the rest. I got to meet a few of the designers, and what astounds me is the fact that we don’t really take notice that jewelry designers are some of the most talented artists around. People just lose sight due to the shinny sparkles they credited.

If you want to make a lady smile, buy her a pretty piece of jewelry that will always bring back that smile when she glances at it, and of course an endless memory. What I’m trying to say is that behind passion and dreams is a success story. I wish Makia Jewelry the best of luck for the future and keep creating memories and beautiful pieces of art. Have a look at their website www.makia.co.za its pretty awesome, you can also find them of facebook!

P.S they also have jewelry for men…

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Makia-Lifestyle/139493282765808

Hi how have you been? what’s news? Havent seen you for ages! You look great! We must meet up soon for a catch up! Would you please pose for a picture! These are a few of the questions that will be said or given during a media function. I don’t enjoy attending functions to be honest, it really depends on the function. Charity functions tend to have a purpose and are meaningful, other functions I have been to have been good fun in the past, and I have gotten to do some really fun things, plus they are just a handful of people that get invited to the fun ones. I find brand launch functions bring out the worst in me, it’s always the same crowd and it feels very staged. People tend to give the look up and down and a cold shoulder unless they can gain some information that will help them in the future. I guess you can call it networking, but if it’s always the same people, you’ll always get the same answers.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that the people who attend these functions are bad people. I’m just saying that they don’t keep it real. The fake laugh kills me, if something isn’t funny, why laugh… The event I went to last night was a launch of a new clothing brand. As cool as this new brand is with insane clothes (and it was a succesful launch, well done to them). It was the lack of realness of the people there. Which made me laugh due to the fact that the blackberry service was still down and people had to talk to one another face to face, but they just stuck in their groups and didn’t venture out. It felt like school days all over again and the cool kids sat at the back of the bus.  People nowadays are bored and it seems like everyone is waiting for the next big thing to happen so that they can have something to talk about or do. The wheel of the bus goes round and round as the motion never changes nor do the people who attend these functions. Same stories same questions, the only thing that changes is the name of brand launch. My conclusion to this, is that I’m just bored. Functions are functions, but if I’m not going to learn anything or meet new people what’s the point.